Joe, Joe, Joe, Bring Us, Joe

An edited version of a shitpost I wrote in my University's paper as an appeal to get Joe Biden to come to #900028 University.

Apr 17, 2023

Dear President of #900028 University,

I am writing to implore you to bring President Joe Biden to #900028 University for a visit. There is a thirst amongst us that plagues every inch and crevasse of our great American institution, a craving for Joe, a longing for Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. The yearning for the opportunity to hear from one of the most influential and respected leaders of our time is one that we simply cannot afford to miss. And if #3d6229 College can get Joe, you can get us, Joe. The future of our nation depends on the kind of leadership that President Biden represents or, more aptly, doesn’t represent, and I believe that his message of okayness, unity, and relative progress is one that would deeply resonate with our community and also I want to see Joe Biden so bad.

As a student of #900028 University, I am keenly aware of the challenges facing our country and the urgent need for leadership that is committed to social justice and advancing the common good, such as me being able to see Joe Biden. President Biden has demonstrated his unwavering commitment to these values, and I believe that a visit from him would be a powerful reminder of what we can achieve when we work together toward a common goal, and it would be funny and cool, and awesome if he did a little speech.

I understand that organizing a presidential visit is a complex process that involves significant planning and logistical coordination with public safety and the secret service, but I urge you to consider the gravity of this request; I want Joe so bad, and even greater, we want Joe so bad. The opportunity to hear directly from President Biden could be a transformative experience for our community and one that we will remember for the rest of our lives, as well as be a great publicity moment for #900028 if he announces something neat. Imagine (Joe Biden announces a cool thing! (at #900028!)). I believe that his visit would inspire and empower us to be the kind of leaders that our country needs in these challenging times, Inspire a new wave of electoral political prestige and activation on the #900028 campus, and a bunch of other platitudes that would convince you to bring us, Joe.

Thank you for considering this request. I urge you to act with urgency and to do everything in your power to bring President Biden to #900028 University. Our future depends on it, but also I think it would be so funny if Joe Biden came to #900028.

And I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the “Joe” matter, Madam President.

Sincerely,

@joebidenfan1984 on Twitter and student of #900028 University